TWO SIDES OF A TROUBLED COIN -8

Episode 8:

FOLA
Sorry I didn’t show up. I might have passed out or something. I haven’t slept properly in days. You do understand don’t you? I hope you’re safe. Wemimo’s back and he really wants to meet you to discuss this mess. You’d get a mail from him pretty soon. That aside, let’s meet tonight. Same place. I’ll make it this time…I promise.

TOBI
It’s amazing to finally meet with you. If only the circumstamces surrounding our meeting was right…like we were just hanging out or something. I hope we scale through this hurdle…I really hope we do.
That aside, they really need to school those peeps that work at eateries on manners o. Haba! See the way they were staring…especially the fair chic and her friend. Even if you want to look at anyone, don’t stare! Rule #1 of the art of lookery. Or could they have been asked to spy on us? Nah! I think not.
Still haven’t gotten Wemimo’s mail…should I call him instead?

WEMIMO
Hi. I’m Wemimo….Fola’s probably told you about me… I wish we met under better circumstances but here we are. Thank you for being there for Fola. She thinks so higghly of you! If it were possible she would have asked permission from you everytime we’re supposed to go on a date.
I’m not much of a mail-person like you guys. Just thought to send one first so one “strange-guy” won’t just be calling you.I hope you don’t mind that I got your number from Fola.
She really needs us…I fear this thing is way deep-rooted than we see. Everyday I feel something just isn’t right…doesn’t feel right. I’ve been trying to get her to see a pshychologist but she just wouldn’t “see a shrink who’d act like he knows her better than she does herself”. I’ll keep trying but I think she’ll listen to you. I hope she does.

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FOLA
Tobi dear…how are you? Wemimo said he mailed u. Don’t even think of talking me into the shrink business. I’ve made up my mind. No one is going to have me on a couch screwing with my mind…ooh-ing and aahing to my every statement without saying anything meaningful. I can come to conclusions myself without anyone ooh-ing me.

TWO SIDES OF A TROUBLED COIN- 7

Episode 7

TOBI
Why aren’t you replying my mails? This is not the right time for you to go MIA on me…I beg you please come to my aid! It’s all coming back…Everything!
 Wait! Are you alright? Oh my God! I hope you’re fine! I hope nothing has happened to you! Oh Lord! Is this nightmare still going on?  Oh my God! Please just let me know if you’re fine! Or has he gotten to you? He said he’d kill whoever I tell…oh Lord! Why?! I have to tell Wemimo..He has to be prepared for whatever comes. I just put two people that matter the most to me into this mess! I’m sorry..I hope you’re fine…Call me as soon as possible. 08086297321

FOLA
I’m still waiting for your reply or at least a call. I need to know you’re safe. Please put my mind at ease.  I told Wemimo everything already and I hope he’d heed my warning. I just need to know you’re okay.  I’m half-hoping he doesn’t know I told you. There’s no way that bastard’ll know..its not possible..except ..Oh my God! Except he’s monitoring my mails! Oh Lord! I’m just being paranoid..but the possibility! Please get in touch ASAP

FOLA
Its Fola. I had to create a new mail account on the off-chance my fears are real and that evil demon is still watching me. What he still comes to rape me every night and I don’t know it? It happened in Dean Koontz’s ‘False memory’.  The psychologist raped the lady without her knowing..she only woke up feeling sore the next morning. I’m being paranoid again..but what if?
I need someone with me. Wemimo’s gone cos he had to although he had me move to his place. I had to pretend I was fine. I don’t want him leaving his job on my account. I’ve put him through enough as it is. Call me. No! Don’t! He might be monitoring my calls..I’ll call..just give me your number.

FOLA.
Why aren’t you replying?

FOLA
I’ve cried my eyes out already. I can only hope you’re fine and for some reason aren’t replying. I’m sorry I did this to you. You were such a great friend but I failed you. I pulled you into this mess with me. I’m sorry.

FOLA
I’m sorry..please come back

FOLA
I’m going crazy thinking things here. Restore my sanity. Be fine!

FOLA
I’m sorry.

FOLA
This can’t be goodbye..it just can’t.

TOBI
I’m sorry I left you hanging for so long. I think I might be in trouble. Abduction isn’t the case here so I don’t know what it is. I’m free…I’m with my phone, my purse and I have all the freedom. That isn’t normal. But I have no idea how I got to this place and I can’t remember anything that happened these past days.
You still don’t remember the person that did this to you? I need you to try to remember so we’d know how powerful he is. We need to know who and what we’re dealing with here. I already escaped.  Even though I’m wondering why they’d abduct someone and not watch over her. We need to see each other now. No more online contacts alone. I’m heading towards Ogba. Let’s meet at KFC.We need to talk..I would have preferred Wemimo be there but we have to deal with this now so we can’t wait for me. I’ll never leave your side no matter what.

TWO SIDES OF A TROUBLED COIN -6

Episode 6:

FOLA
I got the flashes again and they got worse this time!  A new kind I’ve never gotten before…and I saw the whole thing this time! Why is my life like this?! One moment of happiness followed by unending pain and sorrow. Why can’t I just have a normal life like every other person? I’m up today, down for the next five days. I’m really fed up! It would have been a little bearable if I was the only one but to put Wemimo through all this is really breaking my heart! We were together when the whole thing happened and he’s been with me ever since. He even thinks its his fault! Oh dear!
I called him  and asked to hang out with him this evening because he has to travel to Milan for a job tomorrow. I wish I hadn’t suggested it in the first place! Wemimo had been going on and on about wanting to watch his team’s  EPL match and we agreed he’d watch at my place. We even joked about his team’s lack of form since Moyes took over. His club lost again so we decided to just stay indoors and watch movies instead of going out. Other than the loss, every other thing was going fine. Until he tried to kiss me.
 I’m not exactly the most experienced when it comes to guys but I’ve never heard of a case where a mere kiss brings back so much pain. It was like the whole thing was happening all over! Oh my God!  The gory pictures! Everything flashed before my eyes. I’m a victim of abuse and I had no idea! Wemimo thinks I can’t remember anything because I just bottled my emotions and didn’t deal with them as I should have. I don’t know what to think anymore! How can I not know I was raped?! Is it even possible to block memories? Now I have to deal with two losses…my parents and my innocence. I remember it all except his face…it wasn’t a one-time thing…The bastard kept going at it! I can hear his voices…all the evil mean things he said…the vile things he kept saying. I swear I didn’t lead him on! He said I wanted him and I made him come get me…he said I made him do it..I didn’t! I swear I didn’t! How could I?!
I can’t deal with this anymore…I just can’t! If Wemimo wasn’t here I just might have ended it all…its not like my life is of any value. He’s been watching me since..it think he knows what I’m thinking of doing. Where do I get strength from when he leaves! I need you here… Come meet with me…please…help me stay sane. I need you!

TWO SIDES OF A TROUBLED COIN-5

Episode 5:

TOBI
LMFAO…again LMFAO….I’m literally laughing my flat ass out here o..WHAT?!  So you clawed  the poor dude that was only trying to help you? Haha…Lool at the Mother Gagool part…so you remember that witch in Binta My daughter (or is it Binta and friends? I forget). My nails are actually long too..like claws…I pity the dude that tries shit with me when I have them on.
Lesson 1: NEVER in the history of Ever talk a walk in white pants! Sweetie, white and walks spell one thing DISASTER!
2: Not everyone is out to get you you know. You are too paranoid,dear. Why do you feel the world’s out to get you? I really wanna know. Plus, I’m pretty sure someone tried to tell you you had China’s map on your butt but the music was too loud…I know the feeling cos I take walks too (even though it has been a while)
So now you’ve told your Pocahontas story, don’t we deserve to know him better ni? No name, no details..hian!! You be terrible storyteller o! That sweet story and we don’t know anything about Prince Charming except he’s nice. Hope he’s not one of those gate men that call themselves GM o?! Gimme details pronto!
I totally get the “I know when a guy likes me” feeling..some of us are lucky to have that huh gift?…. I’m wondering…What are you scared of? What is pushing you away? What is making you hold back?
I KNOW you are ready to take things a notch higher with him…you already look like you’re making progess..Let your heart lead the way this time. Give your heart a chance. For the first time in your life trust your heart.
 In other news, I got good news as well! (Okay that didn’t make any sense but whatever). I took your advice and took a really long walk. I totally dig what you were saying. Morning walks….BLISS! And this time I didn’t just walk, I paid attention to mother nature ( maybe because a little part of me wanted. Your Pocahontas experience…but I should add I was smart enough to put on black pants :p). Then I realised the greatest inspiration anyone can have is from nature. I don’t know if it was the walk or if I was on my way towards recovery. But YES…for the first time in so long, my designs made sense!  I’m so proud of the sketches,I’m planning to relaunch myself into the fashion world properly! (My binge eating and wallowing in self-pity is fast reducing by the way…I’ve even started with the fruitarian diet plan). But for now I’m taking it one sketch at a time..who knows? You just might be wearing me for your wedding with Prince Charming.

FOLA
I’m really sorry I left that part out. Name’s Wemimo, he’s into PR/Fashion Journalism (well he’s really into a mix of God knows what..bits and pieces of every little job. Dude even does voice-overs!) …Say! I should introduce you guys since you’re keen on getting back into the fashion world. I can only imagine his excitement when I tell him you’re planning on making a come-back! Hope you don’t mind I already told him about you? I just gave him a brief description of what we’ve got going. I don’t want him to know too much about me in too little time…I feel if we rush it we would run out of things to talk about cos I have a very boring life )
I’m scared though…He’s reaching out far too fast for me to handle. Left to him we should be talking every other hour ( I wonder what he sees in my boring talks o…abi he’s up to something ni?).
I do want to see him everyday but we have to consider his work and the fact that I only have nights to myself.  Plus I’m really scared I’m going too fast (I said this a million times already). I should stop whining and live each moment as it comes.
I’m happy you’re getting yourself back…heck! I’m glad we’re both making progress…having someone to talk to rocks! I’m gonna buy you an amazing size 10 dress when I see you (10 is your target right?).. And I would love. To have you design my wedding gown even if the wedding happens when I’m 80 and without teeth.

TOBI
I’m really sorry I bailed on you these past days…it’s like I’ve been lost these days…I would love to meet Wemimo someday and work with him…just get something solid going on okay? Do it for you!
I just drank to the progress we’re making. Yes! I’m looking at a 10. I keep surprising myself… I see designs in everything..from crumpled paper to the folds in the curtains at my place. I love this life!
I found one of my old diaries…I plan on digging into it one of these days..its even got some of my old sketches. Oh my! I just had a flash of something genius! Bye love!

TWO SIDES OF A TROUBLED COIN-4

Episode 4:

FOLA
I know I just met him and I really shouldn’t get my hopes up but I strangely feel safe with him. I can’t remember when last I was actually this free with a guy.
I should have known something good was going to come into my life. For some reason, I noticed everything (which I could say has never happened before)…the world around me..the birds…the sky… (I was lucky enough to see the beautiful sunrise and the radiance of the morning sun)…the sounds…I felt like Pocahontas! I could almost hear the wind’s voices! (Lol at the fact that I think I met my “John Smith” that day…I hope his fate doesn’t end like the original Smith who lost Pocahontas).
 That morning I needed air…I needed to feel nature so I decided to take a walk…a really long walk. And since it was like Mother nature was smiling down on me I felt almost angelic hence my choice of attire. The raining season is long gone, I thought, no need to worry about mud or dirty water. So I wriggled into a pair of fitted white denim shorts (which turned out to be a terrible choice) paired with this short pink top I hadn’t worn in a while (yet another terrible choice) and I started walking.
I don’t know if you’ve ever tried walking early in the morning…if you haven’t then you should. The way the cool breeze goes into every little crevice of your body and mind is pure bliss! Headphones on, sneakers on and mind miles away, I walked on…oblivious to anything that wasn’t my thoughts, music or nature. Then it happened.
About fourty five minutes into my walk (I’m sure about the time because I had just checked)  and goodness knows how far from my house, I felt someone’s hands around my waist. My first reaction was to scream…I yelled my lungs out, started hitting this stranger until I broke free and then I ran . I ran as quickly as my already tired legs could carry me(which wasn’t fast at all)  but he was hot on my heels(he was really fast). He caught up with me too quickly. By then I had managed to attract so much attention to us. I started yelling all sorts. He just smiled (the kind of smile you’d give when you pity someone) and whispered “You’re stained”.
At that point I just stared wide-eyed at him. All my thoughts ran into one another and ended like a train wreck. I was still staring when he took off his shirt and wrapped it around my waist. Apparently,the red flag had decided to fly at full mast without prior warning (I never really got any warning…my cycle is so irregular I just stopped trying to calculate). And those evil people around couldn’t tell me! I can’t remember how many sorry’s I said but I remember repeating them.
Sweet as he was he just laughed off my earlier onslaught (even though I had scratched at his face with my Mother Gagool’s nails) , explained he had been driving by and noticed the stain on my pants and decided to help. He drove me back home and we have been great friends ever since. That’s hardly a romantic tale yeah? Lol
I’m trying to convince myself I’m making progress but the truth is I’m not. I take one step in being open with him and I regress with four steps. I’m tired really but he understands….even when I don’t. And he  hasn’t made any move to asking me out…yet. I know he will…I always do. The question now is would I be ready for him when he asks me?

TWO SIDES OF A TROUBLED COIN 3

Episode 3:

TOBI
Oh dear!  The nightmares are back? I thought they had stopped! I can’t even find the right words to comfort you with. I knew this was serious but I had no idea things were this bad. You told me bits and pieces of the dreams and that you’d tell it all when you felt strong enough but never the full story.
This is really scary. And to think you stay on your own…all by yourself! You really need to get help. I am your friend but I’m not trained to deal with trauma of this magnitude. A psychologist is your best bet, love. What if the nightmares get worse and you see things you can’t deal with?! You have to see someone trained for this.
Losing someone you love isn’t easy to deal with but 2 people? In such a tragic way? That’s too much for anyone to deal with. Your relatives shouldn’t have left you all by yourself. Especially with this state you are in psychologically. I only haven’t been in touch with my folks and its killing me!  So I can’t begin to imagine the state your mind is!
At this point I need to plead with you not to do anything irrational. When you told me sometime ago that you’d hunt down whoever killed your parents and do same to him, I was convinced I had talked you out of it but I’m not so sure anymore now that the dreams are back. I beg you, don’t do anything that’d put you in trouble with the law. You’re probably thinking you’d find closure when you get your revenge but it doesn’t necessarily work that way dear. You’d still have that person’s death on your conscience. I really need to talk to you. I don’t think mails can help at this point.  

FOLA
I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to reply your all your mails these past weeks. I guess I just needed time to think about my life and all.I needed a little break and it worked…  I’m fine, dear. Better than fine. I understand your worry but its really nothing.
You would never totally get how I feel unless you go through same (and I pray you don’t). I still feel really angry and have a lot of pent-up emotions that I just shelved aside but I’m gradually letting go. I am angry at the bastard that killed my parents and ruined my life…I’m angry at myself for not being able to remember the important details… I’m angry my relatives didn’t stick with me when I needed them ….I’m angry at the world. And I guess I’m scared.  Scared what I’d find out would be too much to handle…scared it might somehow be my fault they’re gone…so I’d rather let it be.  
So yes, the only way I feel I can get a little peace is to hunt down this evil person and do to him what he did to me. I was considering taking everything he loves one by one and make him suffer as much as I am but I realised I would be no better than him. So I’m settling for the better of two evils…dealing with him…I don’t know how but I’m having fun thinking of all the things i could do. (Oh my God! I sound like a sadistic psychopath!) . I’m still not seeing a shrink…All they do is poke into someone’s head and take. advantage of their vulnerability. We see it on tv and in books.
Let’s put all this negative vibes away..its not good to have so much negatives in the air and I have just the right thing to send them away. While I was taking my little time off I met a guy… And this sounds really strange considering we just met but  I think he’s THE ONE.

TWO SIDES OF A TROUBLED COIN- 2

Episode 2: 

TOBI
Hey dear…(Am I allowed to call you that? Dear?)This whole email thingy still feels really weird…heck even the way we met is weird-ish.Then again, I’m the queen of weird and so are you. Cheers to the freaking Weirdazoids (say did you ever watch that Freakazoid cartoon?)
Anyways,’twas an “as usual” day today. When I woke up this morning I thought it was a perfect day to work on my designs. I was soooo excited that I ditched a proper meal for a meagre meal of oats and bread…oh yeah fried eggs too. This might seem like a proper meal to you but it really is trash plus I had so little! (I mean, what do you call a bowl of oats, 8 slices of bread and 4 eggs and a bottle of coke…coke’s always my choice cos I feel its more gassy..that’s just me sha). Anyways, I decided to get to work (without even taking a bath) and I was freaking stuck! Pencil-in-hand,  pad-on-the-table, no-ideas-coming stuck! No inspiration, no motivation, NOTHING!
First sheet ended up in the bin..so did the second. Subsequently I just started scibbling all over the sheet, ripping them apart and flushing the pieces down the toilet.
Darned strike! I woulda had something to keep me busy if school wasn’t on compulsory “holiday”. Honestly, if I continue this way I’d bloody blow up! And my eating habits aren’t helping matters.In the past few years I’ve gradually switched from a perfect hourglass size 6 to a shapeless size 16 fatso! *sigh* Back when I was literally to die for and all top modelling agencies around wanted me on board. Now no-one’s even looking at me…even the dumb models I used to design clothes for (yeah I was that good..started at 15 and became a “boss designer” like my mumu friend’ll call it by 20). Now I’m 21 and I’m a nothing! It hurts you know. Being all that and now a zero! Plus mum and dad have refused to come home. I miss them a lot. I can’t even talk to them is the annoying thing. Everyone’s turned their backs on me. So I just left…upped and moved somewhere else…here. You’re about the only one I’ve got. Gotta ex now,sweets….Trisha’s on air and the only thing I think can cure this crazy feeling is the craziness on today’s show.
     
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FOLA
Dear is just fine,pal. Nah, cartoons without princesses  weren’t really my thing…the dresses..the tiaras and all. Our meeting wasn’t weird abeg. It was more of a …umm…destiny? We’ve been exchanging emails for what? 2 months now? And you still haven’t gotten this “its weird” talk  outta that crazy lil head of yours.
 I think I understand what you’re going through. It’s not easy dealing with the loss of something you’ve always had. We have a lot more in common than I initially thought, you know. We have both lost something and we’re both searching for ourselves. Isn’t that funny?
You’re being too hard on yourself…ease up a little,love. Your weight? Forget that thing o babe. You’re probably bothered cos you weren’t always big. I’m big, bold and incredibly beautiful. Been a 16 for as long as I remember. If you wanna model you can..well, maybe not pageantry or runway. Wait sef, things are changing jo, big categories go still come. But you do have to work on your binge eating.
On the reals tho,I totally get you. There are some days I hate myself. I hate that I can’t pull off some trendy pieces I woulda loved to.I make myself happy by saying all I just told you. D whole confidence thingy is just a big farce.
The funny thing is, even with this baggage a lot of guys still want me..the way I am… Fatso, using your words. It should be the other way round. Me begging for attention and love and them rejecting me. Instead I’m the one doing the rejecting and it’s all cos I don’t feel lovable.I don’t feel I deserve love. I feel so worthless. I think the guys are all out to get me..like it’s a game or something. No matter how much they profess their “undying” love, I always feel they’re jusy lying. I want to be able to love back tho. I’m scared, frustrated and angry. And I keep having these scary nightmares.
You should be grateful, you know. Your parents are alive. I keep seeing the way mine were brutally murdered everytime I close my eyes. The blood… the tears…the agony..I’m still trying to piece the whole thing together. Maybe when I do I’ll tell you all I can remember (if I can bear to talk about it). I only just realised the awful scenes playing in my head happens to be my parents’ murder. I’m  still trying to get the murderer’s face..it all comes in flashes. Quick flashes of the whole thing and then I just black out plus there’s always missing time gaps after the episodes. I remember nothing of the hours in-between. And NO! I’m not seeing a psychologist.I’ll deal with it myself. I feel drained already.
Take care sweets.

TWO SIDES OF A TROUBLED COIN 1

Two sides of a troubled coin is the journey of two people who met online and are both in search of the missing parts of their lives. Confiding in each other helps them find these parts but not without digging out secrets that would have been better off hidden.

ONE

TOBI
I wasn’t always like this…My life was much more fun before now and I lived it to the fullest. I have no idea what went wrong. I went from being THAT to being This…”This” meaning without talents, dreams and oh yeah without money. Let’s just say I’m broke, “dreamless” and “talentless”(are those even real words? My English’s gotten terrible) . I might as well be dead.
I should repeat I wasn’t initially wired this way and I’m not just saying that over and over to try to convince myself. I am determined to find out what screwed up my wiring system this much…To find myself again I must find out the “why’s”.
My name is Tobi…once upon a time big dreamer…once upon a time super talented designer…once upon a time lover of life.

**********

FOLA
I keep getting these feelings these days. You know that feeling you get when you know something is wrong but you can’t tell exactly what it is? I sound like someone that is crazy yeah?
I have a feeling I wasn’t always like this… I say. “I have a feeling cos I’m not sure I know when and how it started. Oh boy! I feel like my life isn’t mine and it seems I’m watching the whole thing…like a movie. Put it this way…I feel my life’s a movie and I’m jes a part of the audience.
You do understand right? You don’t think I’m crazy or anything? Looll..look at me go on and on. I’m sorry ehn. I guess I just feel this is it! This would help me find me..find out what’s wrong and fix me! That you’re a stranger don’t matter..now you’re my friend
I’m Fola…once upon a time perfectly sane chic (I guess); once upon a time happy person(I guess again) ; once upon a time die-hard romantic…can you help me find me?

P.S Don’t forget our no-research policy.I like to think we can help each other without necessarily knowing ourselves. I’m dying to know what you look like and all but I guess its better ds way. Don’t think me a criminal or anything o..

**********

She sat back in her chair and read the mail one last time. Perfect! She thought and clicked SEND

TWO SIDES OF A TROUBLED COIN- The apologies and Appreciation

I started writing this early this year but couldn’t finish up due to circumstances beyond control. For those who had been following before now, thank you for the faith you had in me then. I’m really sorry we didn’t get to read the end. Let’s make it work this time too. I love you guys!
If this is new to you, I really hope you enjoy it. To get better, I need your thoughts and opinions. Do use the comment box.
Enjoy!

Two sides of a troubled coin is the journey of two people who met online and are both in search of the missing parts of their lives. Confiding in each other helps them find these parts but not without digging out secrets that would have been better off hidden.

I SHUT IT ALL OUT

Another youth cut in his prime,
Another dream cut short,
Another night being black is a crime,
Another night injustice’s metered at the court.

Another mother’s tears free flowing,
Another nation shaken, broken,
Another wife sentenced to mourning,
Another child’s life taken.

The screens are filled with blood,
The world’s filled with hate,
The world’s ravaged by flood,
Too much pain for my heart to accommodate.

The news is heartbreaking,
Tv off, I shut it all out.
Headsets on, music banging,
I can’t bear to watch, so I shut it all out.